2007 Australian Citizenship Test

So many people have sent this to me that I thought I'd share it with you. I will also indicate whether I got the answers right or not, but won't give out the answers. Feel free to ask questions about the questions or even to suggest answers so we can all have a laugh.

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"? - The sepo (that's me) got it right!
2. What is a “bloody little beauty?” - The sepo got it right!
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey? - The sepo got it right!
4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo." - The sepo got it right!
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are traveling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash? - The sepo got it right! (Though the answer is flimsy.)
6. Complete the following sentences:
• If the van's rockin' don't bother ________? - The sepo got it right!
• You're going home in the back of a _________? Doh!
• Fair crack of the _________? Doh!
7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. - The sepo got it right!
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie? - The sepo got it right!
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "upon blocks"? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl? (I have an Uncle Bruce and he likely does have some vehicle up on blocks.... but I still think I need to say Doh! to this one....)
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming? - No, but that's a good idea for my (looming) citizenship celebration lunch.... Does that count?
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole? Doh!
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam. - The sepo got it right!
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke? - This sounds eerily like the Simpsons.... No comment.
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice? - All 'cept the beer bit, so I'll take it as a winner....
15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own? - The sepo got it right!
16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot? - The sepo got it right! (but I break the law.)
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots? - The sepo got it right!
18. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"? Doh!
19. Who would you like to crack on to? - The sepo got it right!
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie? - The sepo got it right!
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool? - Not really, have to miss this one.... Doh!
22. What does sinkin piss at a mates joint and getten para mean? - The sepo got it right!

So, Aussie readers, am I in? If so, could you please ask the department of immigration to hurry it up a little. I applied in February, was approved in August, and haven't heard boo since. Need to pledge an oath or something. Bring it on!